Konbanwa Minna san. Yuki desu.
*Sigh*
After collecting my contact lenses, the first time I wore it was perfectly fine yesterday.
I kept my lenses as told by the eye doctor, until this afternoon when I woke up at around 12pm+, I woke up and went straight to the bath room to wear it.
The right lenses got in with no problems at all, problem lies with the left side.
I tried to put it on many times but it fell out many times due to blinking, I don't know why did I react that way, I mean my eye felt uncomfortable with the solution. Of course it does sting like my right eye but this time its different on my left eye.
When the lenses got into my left eye. I feel the sting unbearable than the right eye and I looked into the mirror. My left eye turned red inwhich the pain had caused.
I really feel bad and irresponsible at that time and nearly cried.
It is my resonsibility. I know it. Yet I can't keep it.
Where did I go wrong? I did everything the eye doctor told me to.
Is it the soap? The tissue paper or the tower which I wipe my hands on?
Or was it because of the solution inwhich I tried many times to get the lenses in?
I am confused. Very confused.
I let my eyes rest for 4 hours after the pain and tried again, yet the same pain occured.
It really hurts me and I am feeling very hurt right now.
I mean, I want to prove that I am a responsible person yet my parents claim that I am someone who is not responsible. I feel like crying out loud, screaming to the fullest.
However, I can't do it. Not yet, not now. Not only that, I want to continue on wearing contact lenses for the sake of doing Lives with Harmatia as well. I want to do a good job in it but after this has happened, I really have doubts about myself.
My friend was here in my house after my first attempt of wearing the contact lenses.
I can't show her this, my tears. So I ended up opening the GazettE's Live which I downloaded that has quite alot of screaming parts and I wanted to scream. Afterall, I physchoed her into liking the GazettE, she was here to watch it with me, Standing Live Tour 2006 'Nameless Liberty Six Guns'.
The more I watched the GazettE's Nameless Liberty Six Guns live, I feel them. The passion, the happiness, their smile, the look on their face. I want to meet them, to tell them how much I like them and that they are the ones who inspired me to carry on hanging in there.
That was how I felt when I watched the Live in this upset mood.
Maybe I should write a letter to the GazettE about this. I don't know, I feel like doing this but my Japanese is poor considering my current state that I am a not the kind of study person who can tolerate sitting down, reading a book which bores me. I am a visual emotional art and music person who always visualises the events going on when listening to the music, the melody and rythmn of the song to create the vision in my mind eventhough I don't really understand the language.
I really want to do well for my O levels but my results are like F9 and E8s.
My head really feel very heavy about this because as I said before, I am not the kind of study person, I dislike that. Yet I want to get into Singapore Polytechnic's Music and Audio Techonology which is actually 12 points. That is like "OH MY GOD" judging by my results.
Alot of times I told myself, I can't carry on going online but I don't want to lose connection with my fellow bandmates neither do I want to dissapoint them.
As a leader of the band, how can I be irresponsible and lazy as I am now?!
It is really hard for me to change in just a day, this laziness has become one of my bad habit and I have to fight it no matter what... I feel like a failer...
Post comments about this please, I need to refer back to it although there is a chatbox in here.
Well, at least the comments will stay on forever? *bitter smile*
I wonder what will happen next?
*Sigh*
After collecting my contact lenses, the first time I wore it was perfectly fine yesterday.
I kept my lenses as told by the eye doctor, until this afternoon when I woke up at around 12pm+, I woke up and went straight to the bath room to wear it.
The right lenses got in with no problems at all, problem lies with the left side.
I tried to put it on many times but it fell out many times due to blinking, I don't know why did I react that way, I mean my eye felt uncomfortable with the solution. Of course it does sting like my right eye but this time its different on my left eye.
When the lenses got into my left eye. I feel the sting unbearable than the right eye and I looked into the mirror. My left eye turned red inwhich the pain had caused.
I really feel bad and irresponsible at that time and nearly cried.
It is my resonsibility. I know it. Yet I can't keep it.
Where did I go wrong? I did everything the eye doctor told me to.
Is it the soap? The tissue paper or the tower which I wipe my hands on?
Or was it because of the solution inwhich I tried many times to get the lenses in?
I am confused. Very confused.
I let my eyes rest for 4 hours after the pain and tried again, yet the same pain occured.
It really hurts me and I am feeling very hurt right now.
I mean, I want to prove that I am a responsible person yet my parents claim that I am someone who is not responsible. I feel like crying out loud, screaming to the fullest.
However, I can't do it. Not yet, not now. Not only that, I want to continue on wearing contact lenses for the sake of doing Lives with Harmatia as well. I want to do a good job in it but after this has happened, I really have doubts about myself.
My friend was here in my house after my first attempt of wearing the contact lenses.
I can't show her this, my tears. So I ended up opening the GazettE's Live which I downloaded that has quite alot of screaming parts and I wanted to scream. Afterall, I physchoed her into liking the GazettE, she was here to watch it with me, Standing Live Tour 2006 'Nameless Liberty Six Guns'.
The more I watched the GazettE's Nameless Liberty Six Guns live, I feel them. The passion, the happiness, their smile, the look on their face. I want to meet them, to tell them how much I like them and that they are the ones who inspired me to carry on hanging in there.
That was how I felt when I watched the Live in this upset mood.
Maybe I should write a letter to the GazettE about this. I don't know, I feel like doing this but my Japanese is poor considering my current state that I am a not the kind of study person who can tolerate sitting down, reading a book which bores me. I am a visual emotional art and music person who always visualises the events going on when listening to the music, the melody and rythmn of the song to create the vision in my mind eventhough I don't really understand the language.
I really want to do well for my O levels but my results are like F9 and E8s.
My head really feel very heavy about this because as I said before, I am not the kind of study person, I dislike that. Yet I want to get into Singapore Polytechnic's Music and Audio Techonology which is actually 12 points. That is like "OH MY GOD" judging by my results.
Alot of times I told myself, I can't carry on going online but I don't want to lose connection with my fellow bandmates neither do I want to dissapoint them.
As a leader of the band, how can I be irresponsible and lazy as I am now?!
It is really hard for me to change in just a day, this laziness has become one of my bad habit and I have to fight it no matter what... I feel like a failer...
Post comments about this please, I need to refer back to it although there is a chatbox in here.
Well, at least the comments will stay on forever? *bitter smile*
I wonder what will happen next?
